Twilight: The Saga Begins... in Rhyme

For the Twi-hard fans of Twilight, it seems like a good time,
To chronicle the chronicles of the saga in rhyme.

Here’s Stephanie Meyer’s series, recapped and summarized,
Starting with the 1st book (& movie) that fans have immortalized

At the beginning of Twilight we meet Isabella Swan,
Our seventeen year old heroine who has got her “emo” on

Moving from Renee in Arizona to live with Charlie in Forks,
Bella hopes to slip in unnoticed and hide among the other dorks

But much to her dismay, at school she’s clearly the hot new dish,
In fact, one Edward Cullen thinks that she would be delish!

First less subtle paramours vie for Bella’s attention,
Mike Newton doesn’t waste a day before showing his affection.

Yet Bella is more captivated by a particular clique
Specifically, a certain somebody, who’s kind of a dick.

These are the Cullens - the foster children of the doctor,
Pale-skinned beauties so gorgeous it nearly shocks her

There’s Rosalie & Emmett, and Jasper & Alice,
And Edward, the fifth wheel that throws her heart off balance

Jessica says, “Don’t bother” - but Bella’s attraction is impulsive
It’s too bad he seems to find her utterly repulsive.

But when a car almost kills her, Edward saves the day,
Although Bella swears she saw him standing several far away

She wouldn’t just ignore this supernatural strength and speed,
Knowing Edward was surely a very different breed.

For the first time she dreams of her pale-white, white knight,
And so begins the love story at the center of Twilight.

Though initially keeping their distance is what Edward recommends
He soon turns around to Bella and admits he wants to be friends.

She calls his bluff and invites him on a beach trip with the gang,
But they’re going to La Push, where Cullens cannot hang.

Bella goes and gets some info that she’s not sure what to make of,
Courtesy of future third wheel, her childhood pal Jacob.

He tells her crazy La Push legends of mythological creatures
Describing vampires who share a lot of Edward’s traits and features

Bella does her research and Edward confirms her suspicion
After rescuing her again – it’s fast becoming their tradition

He reveals that he’s a vampire but unlike bloodsucking barbarians
The Cullen’s don’t drink human blood – calling themselves vegetarians.

He’s gorgeous, he reads minds - with the exception of Bella,
He plays piano, he’s immortal, he’s the prince to her Cinderella.

And though he’s a vampire who craves her blood, she’ll go out on a limb
Because she is unequivocally and irrevocably in love with him.

Their affections declared, it’s time to have some fun,
First things first – to the meadow to see Edward in the sun.

Bella asserts yet again that being together is worth any risk,
Edward finally pops her vampire cherry and they share their first kiss

In the book it happened in the meadow; in the movie , her bed,
And wow – yeah, we get it – we’d rather be dead.

Take a minute – think of Robsten in all of their glory,
And then we’ll resume with the Cullen’s back story.

Edward was dying of influenza and was about to expire
When Dr Carlisle Cullen turned him into a vampire

Esme, Rosalie, and Emmett were followed by two final additions,
Jasper who manipulate emotions and Alice who has premonitions

Bella meets Edward’s family so it would only seem right
To introduce Charlie to the guy who doesn’t sleep in her room each night

They resist temptation even though they spend every night together,
And go out for a vampire family baseball game in thunder stormy weather

Visiting vampires check out the ballgame, including James the tracker,
Who see the Cullen’s brought a human, and he has to attack her.

The hunt is on and Bella needs to get out of town
She’ll go hide out in Phoenix while Edward brings the predator down

Unfortunately James escapes and there’s an impending sense of doom
When Alice has a vision of the hunter alone in a mirrored room.

Bella knows that this is the dance studio, located near her house,
James quickly lures her there, in a high stakes game of cat-and-mouse

He’s such a vampire of our time – got to have the kill recorded,
Yet with the slow and painful death he’s planned, extra time is afforded…

For Edward and the Cullen’s to bust in and win the fight,
And suck Bella dry of venom spreading from the vampire’s bite

She wakes up in the hospital – still alive and still in love
Edward promises never to leave her – but will that be enough?

Though his word will be tested, that’s not until later on,
First there are human rites of passage like going to the prom

Jacob stops by to give Bella a message at the dance,
But even this foreshadowing can’t hurt the star-crossed lover’s great romance

Bella Swan and Edward Cullen are meant to be together
Their co-dependent, all-consuming devotion’s “enough for forever”

Here is where Twilight ends but the story just begins,
Thank goodness ‘cause we’ve got a case of the Rob Pattinson’s

The sexy stare and messy hair have us totally Robsessed
But there’s a sexy pup that’s growing up and we’re already impressed

So Team Edward, Team Jacob, Team Jedward stay tuned,
Get ready cause America’s about to be New Moon-ed!